and it looked FABULOUS on her! (as you can tell)
Even though she said she wasn't 'into' veils nor 'trains', this dress ethereally HAS a nice train and she's going with a small simple veil down the back.
This was the first time she tried on her dream dress...
The dream dress, first try on.
And the last try on and day of purchase on Saturday June 29 2013..
It was a nice price, too. Under a grand, which was a great thing.
Hey, she could make a gunnysack look great!
The one on the right was PERSONALLY my fave, but oh well, I'M not the one wearing it!
CUTE IDEA: What I did to give her an idea of what she liked with her in the dress (to save time trying them on), I went to the David's Bridal website, got her 4 choices, isolated a really good headshot of her then photoshopped it onto the dresses and sent her those pictures. She had a REALLY GOOD idea of what she wanted in a dress! Here are two examples:
She also tried on other dresses.
NOTE TO WOULD-BE BRIDES WHO GO AND TRY STUFF ON!!!
DO YOUR HAIR KINDA NICELY OR AT LEAST WASH IT!
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A few things she commented on ALSO were that David's Bridal in her town was, in her opinion, dirty. Her feet were filthy by the time she was done.
Another thing was that it was HOT in there; she got so hot and yucky feeling from taking off the dresses, putting on dresses, that I think she's lucky to find her dream dress so FAST, before she passed out! So remember ladies, take WATER and a hand held FAN!!!
This will be a blog to document all the research, facts, and 2nd, 3rd and 4th guessing about helping my daughter with her wedding, ETA March 29 2014.
I am starting this blog on June 29, 2013, just after my daughter announced to me that she was changing her wedding date from November 9th to March of next year. This was a good thing because I DON'T see how we all could come up with $10,000+ for this wedding!
My whole point of this blog is to document for others what I (and she) went through, plus the Groom, plus other family members, and to also leave a written documentation of the circumstances leading up to my death, my arrest, or my 5150.
I got into thinking more and more about this wedding ever since watching 'Bridezillas' on WETV. I watched this show, jaw open, incredulous, like how we all slow down on the freeway to see an accident.
You'd call her a 'Bridezilla Lite', because while she shows some DEFINITE signs of the "Bridezillicus Dominatus Male Conspersamus" creature, she will come down to earth and allow help if it's gently given, without going into a freaking screaming snit. I hope.
A LITTLE ABOUT ME:
I'm anal. WILDLY. That makes me a Momzilla Lite for this particular event. I've researched and taken quizzes i.e. "Are You A Momzilla?" and I have to say that yes, even though I am the not-quite-prehistoric-but-close to it creature called "Momzillaral Bruticus Non Gravis".
I HAVE to be that way for self-and-mental preservation, because I HATE SURPRISES, so if I'm aware of what COULD surprise me (aka, what could go wrong), I won't get surprised, or at least not as much.
Savvy?
Another benefit to being anal is that against all odds, when you come up with something from your magic hat or bottomless purse (like Mary Poppins) that someone needs desperately and you CONSTANTLY do it, you get the warm fuzzy feeling of being needed and respected.
It's not just about stuff, it's about knowledge, knowing where to find information and again, being known for it.
NOW...ahem...regarding my special talents and THIS wedding...
To avoid you thinking that I'm so altruistic and just selflessly thinking of others all the time, I assure you I'm not totally 100% altruistic. NOBODY is; there's always some sort of benefit or reason for the WIIFM* thought.
The first think** I thought of was getting myself the mother of the bride dress.
I bought one from shopgoodwill.com for $45. I thought it was great, light, flowery, you know, NICE.
I showed it to my daughter, my sister and my hubs. They all did the actual and body language of 'pee-yew'!
I didn't KNOW the MOB (mother of the bride) and the MOG (mother of the groom) had to KIND OF match the wedding color theme. <sigh>
That word above you'll see a lot of in the coming posts.
My 'Survival Kit For The MOB' (travel pack and stay at home pack) consists of
My iPhone and its charger
Bookmarks on my PC at home and on the iPhone browser for a TON of wedding websites
A LOT of 'To-Do' and 'How-To-Do' lists, carefully kept on Excel spreadsheets or Word docs in my phone
A small notepad for the car when I think of things
A larger pad to carry around
A shitpot full of pencils in my car
Another shitpot full of pencils in my purse
Ibuprofen 800 mg tabs
Small bottle of Xanax
Kleenex box for the car and small package for my purse
Baileys, ice and a small large glass
I'll probably think of more things, but those are the biggies.
STARTING TO RESEARCH AND FIND OUT WHAT THIS WEDDING SHIT IS ALL ABOUT
I TOLD her to go to Vegas. I told her. But NOOOOO, she wants a WEDDING, with all the white frills and stuff. Ok, whatEVER. As long as I don't have to pay for most of it.
Here's where the anality that I have shows...when she decided to get married (when he asked her), I went into high research gear and got together prices of the stuff that'll be needed. I very quickly got to $12,000 and RISING.
Now, with ANY event, you're going to forget some stuff, aren't you? Of COURSE! So my main 'bent' on research has been
Costs
Little things that can be forgotten but that will cost money when you remember them, like the guy who officiates at the ceremony for you ($200), the music when you walk up and walk down ($300), where people will milling around before, during, after the wedding, the weather, will the wedding party die of hunger before they get to the ceremony venue (snacks and drinks $150 for 14 people aka the wedding party), will they drink themselves into a bunch of blithering foul mouthed but formally dressed trash? I'M NOT just talking about the groom and the groomsmen, either!;
'What Could Go Wrong' articles for weddings
Costs
If we get a wedding planner/coordinator, what will they do and be responsible for that will avoid misunderstandings?
How to gently inform my daughter that there are a lot of things that COST
Planning the wedding and all the other shit.
Those generic wedding checklists and stuff to me are a little too vague to do much good, because if you DON'T understand what they think you should do, then you ain't-a gonna do it, right?
One thing I will say that if you can afford it, GET A WEDDING COORDINATOR! Here's a pretty snappy little guide I found online: http://www.herecomestheguide.com/images/main/QAWeddingPlanner.pdf
The icing on the wedding cake (pun intended) was that IF my daughter DIDN'T have a coordinator, you know who would end up doing all the grunt work and troubleshooting and trying to fix things?
The Maid Of Honor who, if the wedding INDEED will come off as planned in March of 2014, will have a 6 month old baby of her OWN!
I think the primary reason I say get a coordinator is because I searched online for what's the worst that can happen at a wedding. Got a LOT of ideas, and made me decide to get my daughter a wedding coordinator.
It's worth it not only because she's a stay at home mom with a 6 month old baby, but because it'll also be cheaper than therapy...for BOTH of us, PLUS the groom.
Hey, it's ain't tax deductible on the 1040 Schedule A Medical, but it'll do.
On one Bridezilla episode, I saw the bride to be putting her bridesmaids on the line by not telling them who was going to be the maid of honor. The two that came down to the wire were the bride's friend form 10 years but who had just had twins and so couldn't help with ANYTHING, and an other bridesmaid who she'd known for only 7 years but who did all the grunt work and was right there by the bride's side.
Just RIGHT before the wedding, on the day OF the wedding, she made her bridesmaids say why each one of them should be maid of honor!
I think that if the hard working one, who was right there at the bride's side through all of it, should've been made the MOH right away, and so would have helped the bride with a cheerful outlook, vs. a "Ok, I'll do what you want but I won't think outside the box" mentality. By thinking outside the box, the MOH COULD'VE warned the bride about...
Unfortunately, with the bride wanting to do everything, she forgot one little thing for the reception...
FOOD.
One thing I'm not going to touch is the guest list, because since our daughter is out of state, there are only MAYBE 25 people coming to from her side of her wedding and quite a few of THEM are in the wedding party!
The problem is the GROOM'S side of the family.
This COULD seque*** into a nice chat about the MOG and how she's trying to bribe the groom into having the wedding someplace closer to all the relatives, guilt trip him via certain familial references aka great grandma's heart won't take driving 1 1/2 hours to the wedding city... but I'm not...YET.
OK, cute thing I sent my daughter today that I found online...
This checklist is here so that you know you're not alone. The bride that doesn't go through at least half of this stuff is the "weirdo". Print this list, tack it up in your room somewhere and see if you can be the "all time champ" and check off every single item. Whatever you don't see here, add it to your list, and don't forget to send it to us. Also keep it in a safe place to hand down to your daughter.
He didn't get down on one knee.
He just handed me the box without putting the ring on my finger.
The damn ring didn't fit.
He's given me the ring, but can't commit to a wedding day.
I've got the ring and I hate it, but I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I'll just grin and bare it, all the while I'm hoping to get mugged. "Oh, Honey, look he took my beautiful ring."
Why don't we argue about: a traditional wedding, a victorian wedding, a modern wedding or why not throw our nationality into the mix.
The two of us want a small wedding. Our parents want to invite every single person they've ever met.
We go along with the bigger wedding. We're not happy about it, but get a grip who ever said it was our day anyway. Time to look for a quaint location. OH NO, "No child of mine is going to get married in a place like this. We're going to get you the best hall the city has to offer".
Someone do me a favour, pull my mother-in-law to be out of my ass!
We're both of a different faith. I don't care about this but both sets of parents want the ceremony in their own faith.
I want to get married in a church but I don't attend regularly, so I keep getting turned down. I'm starting to get the "elope" feeling.
The church is coming up with a list of rules and regulations a mile long. Can't do this, can't do that. That'll cost you extra.
Then to top it all off we've got those wedding classes to attend.
Look on the bright side, so far I haven't had anything to do.
As it is right now our parents have managed to spend anywhere between $6,000 to $10,000.
You still have to pay for a: florist, DJ, limo, invitations, hair, make-up, favours, photography, videography, decorations and wedding attire. Gifts for each other, your wedding party and your parents. Don't forget the little extras and our future. I know I'm really thinking about eloping now. Just chill, follow the Frugal Bride planners and checklists and they'll walk me through it nicey, nice.
Get my nerves in check because here comes the shower I didn't want. So make sure I register, that way when I open my gifts I'll know that at least I like them.
Ah! The dreaded seating plan. Many tears have been shed over this one.
Where to seat divorced parents and feuding relatives.
Then there's that uncle that breaks out into song after a couple of drinks. Geez, what will the in-laws think.
My credit card is maxed and there's still so much to do.
Someone in my bridal party went and got herself pregnant. The nerve of some people.
It's 2 weeks before the wedding and my dress isn't ready yet. Oh! God when will this all end.
I'm not putting one cent into that rehearsal dinner, that's his responsibility. "What do you mean you don't have any money left either. Well ask your parents for it, they're the ones who wanted the big fancy hall."
Okay, that's it, someone definitely has to pull my mother-in-law to be out of my ass AGAIN! Gonna commit murder!!!!!!
I didn't realize we needed a permit to take a couple of lousy pictures.
"If that photographer tells me to tilt my head one more time, I'm gonna kill him."
"Is it hot in here or is it just me?"
I checked in with the reception site to confirm the final tally of guests and because I didn't read the small print, now they tell me that the price of our menu has gone up because of some hurricane in Florida six months ago.
Believe us, when we say, we could go on, but we want to leave something to your imagination.
This one will get you the "Grand Prize". You wake up the morning of the wedding, walk over to the mirror and take a final look at the single you. You give yourself a little smile. You're so happy and proud of all the work you've put into this day. You're relieved to know that if you and your fiance can live through the wedding planning, you can live through anything. This is going to be THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. You stroll to the bathroom with your head held high and close the door. OH SHIT!!! I got my period!!!!!!!!!
And of course there's MORE TO COME, so STAY TUNED TO MZL-TV!!!
*What's In It For Me
**I meant to write that way
***YES, it's spelled correctly
